Lyla laughs today

Last Week Home-7 weeks

 

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A little cold-6 Weeks

I can't believe that Lyla is already 6 weeks. I can't imagine going back to work already. It has been a pretty calm week-Mom came over Saturday night and watched the baby while Dan and I had a "date". He actually had a gig out on the Cosmic Cowboy tour and it was a much needed time out together. I ate really good food, got to hear my sweetheart play some good music and we saw the sun setting while we were on the lake. I love Austin so much. Although I must say I was thrilled to get home and see my little cub. Mom took her a bath and she smelled so pretty and was very relaxed.

I learned on Friday (after a trip to the pediatrician's office) that she had a bit of a cold-nothing we could do really but wait. She is a little congested in the mornings and it is affecting her ability to eat easily because her breathing is more difficult than usual. We are using saline drops, put the humidifier in her room and she even slept in her swing one night just to help with her breathing.  I also learned at the doctor that she is almost 10lbs!

So Sunday mom stayed again and took care of the baby while I went to church. The youth and Dan did worship at the late service and it was the first time I sat through a whole sermon in months. It almost felt like a date too! God has been on my mind a lot-I lay in bed at night and just feel so grateful. No other word for it really I just say over and over again "thank you thank you". I bet God likes these type of prayers.

Monday I went to my 6 weeks check up. Lyla went with me of course and was really funny at the doctor's office-she wouldn't take the bottle I made but was very excited when I started breast feeding her. Like she new I was holding out on her. The doctor was talking to us (Lyla and I) and was telling me "enjoy this time when she can't talk because in no time she will be big enough to talk back" and Lyla smiled really big! She apparently thought it was funny.

I pulled over at the chick-fil-a on the way home and changed her and fed her a little. I sat there inhaling my lunch while she sat up in between my legs going to the bathroom. Lyla is not much of a lady when she goes to the bathroom-she is very VOCAL. When I was eating I thought "not in a million years". I never would of imagined me sitting in the back seat trying to eat my lunch like this-it was laughable to say the least.

We had some nice nights together at home when Daddy got home. Lots of cuddling and kisses. Lyla is getting stronger and likes to "stand up"-she thinks this is a lot of fun. She seems to be enjoying books a little more but it takes a lot to keep her attention. We take walks at night (if it isn't raining). I like to walk around with her because sometimes it seems like she gets BORED at the house. I really do notice her get antsy and fussy if we are in the house too much.

I am so thankful for this time I have with her at home. I am dreading the day I have to go back to work. She is such a joy when she wakes up in the morning and I really hope we can make it work for this to continue being the best part of her day. She talks a lot in the morning "cooing and making noises" it really seems like she wants to tell you all about her dreams and what she wants to do for the day. I love her little voice already!

Feeling Better-Week 5

This past week has been filled with a whirlwind or emotions and hormones (God bless anyone who has had to deal with me). I am finally starting to feel better-on Tuesday I took my last dose of medicine and promised myself to avoid that whole deal again no matter the cost. Never in my wildest dreams did I think breast feeding would be as hard as it has been for me.

Lyla is sweet as ever although she seems a little under the weather starting late Tuesday night. I am curious if she has allergies (symptoms came with the rain)-if she seems under the weather tomorrow I'm going to the pediatricians office.

Lyla has been showing many signs of growth this past week. On Saturday morning she smiled (intentionally) for what seemed like the first time (many times in a row actually). She decided to do this to Daddy when he was playing with her first thing in the morning but I was glad I was able to witness it. Grace seems very much like a morning person even though she takes a nap pretty early in the morning and sleeps late (a nice combination of her Daddy and I). She is focusing more on different objects and paying attention longer to those objects-such as her toys and pictures.

I finally got announcements out this week-late in the game-tacky to say the least.
I have been dealing with a huge amount of insecurities this week-questioning myself quit a bit. The baby at times seems like a magnifying glass hovering over all my faults. I know it isn't her but she seems to make me realize even more so what it is I lack. It has been such a challenge not knowing what she needs all the time or what exactly calms her. This "being a mommy" thing has been really really HARD for me. I knew it would be-probably why I swore off kids for such a long time-but I never imagined I would suck this bad at it:)

Lyla doesn't seem to know any difference-THANK GOD-she doesn't know any different. Maybe I still have time!

I have been praying though-nightly "God make me a better Mom-help me to know what to do-give me wisdom-help me to be patient with myself as I grow too".

And of course I pray over Lyla-and after all the serious stuff I pray-PLEASE GOD help her sleep.

Week 4

Angela and Mia finally come-Week 3

It's week three and I have been anticipating seeing my sister since before the baby came. I remember standing at the airport watching people hug and I was fighting off tears while I waited. Dan stayed home with the baby just so we could get things done "faster" with the rental car and all. I was so thrilled to see my sister come down the escalator. I really can't explain it but it made everything REAL for me. I mean everything else was important too but I remember thinking "I won't ever forget this-Angela coming to see the baby!".

Unfortunately, from that moment to the time we got home I started feeling especially ill. I was not feeling like myself on and off for days (maybe even since day one) but I kept thinking it was just all the "having a baby" stuff that was making me feel funny. But I took my temperature and at 102 we started researching my symptoms. We concluded that I had clogged milked ducts and was in the middle of a pretty nasty infection.

Against my better judgment and everyones concern we still went to my Dad's house. We all were really excited about the trip and I just couldn't pass it up. The drive there and back was really difficult just because it all took so much longer than usual. But the lake house was so awesome and my Dad and Rhonda really did everything imaginable to make us feel welcomed and taken care of. I had moments of feeling ok but for the most part it was an out of body experience.

I had a really hard time with being sick while my family was around. There were so many things I was trying to deal with-not being able to be fully present and celebrate the time with Angela and Mia in town.  One night at the lake house her and I had some real good quality time together while the baby was sleeping. I mostly did a lot of crying and talking and she did good listening and talking too. We laughed real hard a couple of times-everytime we get together we have at least one night like this-usually we spend time talking about things on the phone and on the rare occasions when we don't have a phone between us and really get to "be together" and talk are the times I cherish the most. I really hope one day Lyla can have a relationship with a sibling like the one I have with Angela. Everyone deserves something like that.

When we got back from Dad's we spent some girl time together at Mom's new apartment. Mom cooked out and we all enjoyed just being together. Before I could blink or get better Angela and Mia were heading back home again.

I love my family-

SIDE NOTE: Funny thing when we were coming back from Dad's we stopped at this gas-station/bar-b-que place in Centerville.  A whole lot of drama happened there but Mia was really funny and stuffed her pockets full of single packets of toilettes. The other day I was cleaning up the babies room and found -I'm not kinding- maybe 20 packs of toilettes on the table back there. It was so adorable and made me think of Mia and her JOY. I love when they leave stuff from their visits-I have a little playing card that says HOUSE on it with a cute illustration from their last visit-I'm starting a treasure box for sure:)

Rough Night

Lyla was sick last night.
I don't wear any makeup today.
I get a nap-grandmother holds the baby for 3 hours straight.
Make some King Ranch Chicken Casserole
Call Crystal for some Chicken Cooking Technical Support.
Take a walk